Well here is an opportune time to use my willingness to curse and not censor myself. Fuck this motherfucking shit up its venereal diseased ass! Fuck it! Fuck Microsoft for making a program that crashes if you so much as dare to use thumbnail view when attempting to insert an image and thus making me lose the entire post I already wrote. Fuck Live Writer for not dumping the info somewhere. But Most of all Fuck Automatic for fucking coding WordPress so shitily that I am forced to fucking use this piece of shit program to get fucking any fucking thing done. Fuck you all straight to hell!
Well, now that I have gotten that out of my system, here is some music. Listen to it and do a little dance while I try and remember everyfuckingthing I just wrote and try to recreate it.
Imogen Heap – Hide and Seek (Afrojack Remix) by kbmusic
So what’s been up with me recently? Some good things and some bad things. Lets start with the bad so we don’t end with a bummer. A friendship of mine has just last week come to an end. On the one hand I’m sad that this friendship that has meant so much to me over the years has ended and on the other hand I am so deeply relieved we took it out to the backyard and put a bullet right between the eyes. I won’t elaborate on what happened, I believe my feelings on the matter are telling enough. I suppose this is where I talk about the power of perspective. Terence McKenna (the personal growth one, not the scientist) congratulated Will Smith on his success when they met. Will Smith responded, “Thanks, but I have to be honest, it’s because I’m black”. Now when it comes to this situation I am choosing my perspective, that this will be the best thing that ever happened to me. Now whenever I think about the situation I just smile to myself. Apparently it is physiologically impossible to feel sad when you smile. Now folks don’t get me wrong, I’m not denying my feelings; I acknowledge that I am das about the situation and how it happened, but I sure as hell am not going to wallow in it. This all came at a time when I made a commitment to be happy independent of my circumstances. In fact this all went down within 3 hours of making that commitment. As far as tests go, I thinking I’m doing pretty well with it.
In other news, yesterday I bought and downloaded to programs from Brain Sync: Attract Wealth and Stop Procrastinating. Just so I’m upfront, I make no promises to keep you informed as to how these programs are working out for me, that’s just a recipe for personal anguish, so it’s up to you to discern that for yourself from future posts. That being said, should I feel compelled to talk about it, I will. I did the Attract meditation last night before bed and the Stop meditation first thing this morning and I intended to stick with that formula for a while. Right now the Anytime tracks are playing, alternating. I tend to dive in with these things when I start and I hope to maintain it instead of letting it fizzle out.
Last month I bought the Writers EFT e-book my intuition was kicking my balls in about and I have been using it on a semi-regular basis. I’ve also been very good about tracking/logging my progress going through all the tapping scripts it provides. I have however over the course of using it discovered a few of the Fundamental Lies that operate within me that the book doesn’t directly address, leaving me to improvise. One of these Lies was installed in my subconscious mind when I was between 6 and 10 years old: My mother was listening to a motivational tape series (yes I am aware of the delicious irony) when something the speaker said caused me to adopt the belief that “I will never achieve any of my dreams”. When my mother found me crying about this all she was equipped to do was scold me. Another Lie I picked up was “I never get anything I want”. As far as having sub-routines that create your reality go, these suck ass. It does however go a long way to informing the trajectory of my life thus far. I’ve tapped somewhat on the former but I really still need to tackle the latter. While I’m there I should probably deal with the “I am horrible at all sports and physical activities” Lie – I wonder when this one was installed, must have been very early on. I must say that while EFT is great for taking the emotional charge out of something, I’m not entirely convinced the method I have been taught for emotionalising new beliefs are working.
Okay I think that was everything. Note to self – remember to talk about that big idea that involves Matrix Re-imprinting and multiple-personalities.