Tag Archives: A New Earth

My Ego Has a Pimp Slap

pimp_slapMy ego has a pimp slap. For those of you unfamiliar with what a pimp slap is, the Urban Dictionary defines it as “The act of backhanding the cheek, delivering the blow from across the body”. For example, a pimp will slap his business associate solidly and exclaim, “Bitch, where’s my money?” thus asserting dominance.

So how is it that my ego has a pimp slap you may wonder? Well it comes out of nowhere, as unexpected assaults generally do, a memory flashes across my mind devouring all other thoughts like a hungry cannibal, then departs leaving behind the taint of acute embarrassment and feelings of inadequacy. The offending memory varies from an insignificant misplaced word to a personal action that others may have found amusing at my cost and the results of these mental assaults are just as varied, ranging from a cringe to a violent convulsion. Why, just this morning whilst taking a bath I was forced to relive standing in front of the class in high-school, singing some or other song. I nearly drowned in guilt, shame and bathwater.

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