Where do I begin? In medias res I guess.
I had been using The Abundance Course/Release Technique and just completed the track on Goals. That’s when I couldn’t feel anything anymore. The Soul Crushing Plateau. Everytime I work through the Abundance Course it’s the same – I do the course and it feels great and it feels like I’ve got traction then I hit the Goals track and as soon as it is finished I can’t feel anything anymore. And I know it’s just the plateau and if I push through it will get better but I haven’t been able to. This pattern has repeated like 3-4 times already.
This time was different though. When I started doing the Abundance Course (a-bloody-gain) this time around, I managed to get a friend to join in. I finally had an accountabilabuddy. Thank fuck, at long last. Knowing he was going through the SCP at the same time I was, gave me enough motivation (guiltivation?) to keep releasing. I did however switch it up a little. For the sake of novelty and varition (spice of life, vacation and all that jazz) I switched to The Sedona Method of releasing.
Now I had tried The Sedona Method before but didn’t really like it. I never experienced the lunatic highs of The Abundance Course when practising The Sedona Method, so I had always viewed it as the lesser of the 2 courses. (For anyone who doesn’t know, both courses come from the work of Lester Levenson, so they are both teaching the same things, but from a different angle). Part of what made the SCP so soul crushing is that your visualising energy leaving the body but it really feels like nothing is going on inside, like your a dead soulless thing. And the fact that your looking at it with the visualisation simply amplifies that.
The Sedona Method is different in that visualisation is not a main part of the process. It is mostly verbal processing. Whether you feel it or not (in both modalities) the process is still working. In my experience, just going through the verbal process/questions makes the SCP that much more bearable. In my first encounter with The Sedona Method the pure verbal aspect made me cry “Bullshit” and inspired mild disdain, but I’ve gotten over that. Long story short, I’m past the SCP, heading for a new one (because that’s how mastery works) and now practice a combination of the two modalities for maximum releasing pleasure.
Once I had gotten to The Sedona Method’s section on goals, I started to release on the following goal:
I allow myself to easily have and enjoy the perfect job for me at this time in my life
I’m not really happy where I am right now, and who wouldn’t want the job that the Universe/God deems perfect for you, amirite? So I released on that. Not everyday, but often enough. About maybe 3 days later (I don’t know, the memory is fuzzy) it was a Sunday and I was playing some Pokemon Black. I figure I need some background noise while I grind out some levels and I had a few telecalls/free bonuses from the You Wealth Revolution 2012 to work through. I put three on and continued grinding. One of these bonuses was and Introduction to Quantum Touch audio.
Now I had seen stuff for Quantum Touch around for almost a year prior to this and had absolutely no interest in it whatsoever. A few days after I had done the Access the Bars class I got an email from one of the participants for a Quantum Touch workshop. Interest levels remained at fuckall. But sitting in my room, grinding out levels, I found myself fascinated by the stories and tall-tales being told on this introductory audio. But honestly, in my conscious mind it was registered purely as a “Heh, that’s cool” and nothing more. Or so I thought.
On Monday (the next day), without any effort or really meaning to, I found myself getting a hold of the Quantum Touch manual. This in itself is not particularly noteworthy. I acquire large amounts of MindBodySpirit material all the time, read only some of them and practice even less. But what happened with the manual, not only did I start reading it immediately, I STARTED PRACTISING THE OPENING EXERCISES! Score one for the Sedona/Abundance claim that releasing leads you into effortless action. On Tuesday I got a hold of videos from the workshops and started to work through that. (Sidenote: On either the Monday or Tuesday, the friend of mine that is also releasing gave me news that feeds into/gave me confirmation of the releasing as it relates to business/jobs. I won’t get into specificity due to him preferring to keep these things to himself/within the circle and I respect that)
At this stage I remember that I have a Quantum Touch workshop invitation sitting in my inbox. So I go and re-check the invite, and it was for the coming Sunday. Not only that, but I still had money left over from last month and could easily afford it. Needless to say I got the message I was being sent and signed up for the workshop.
Sunday morning I woke up with a lyric from a song by M.C. Yogi stuck in my head on repeat:
If you want love you’ve got to give love away
It’s from the song Give Love. I’ve posted the video here before so I wont do so again. So at the workshop, before we got started we each had to pick a laminated card with a picture and a message on it, without looking what we where choosing. Random. The card I chose had the following message on it:
The more I love myself, the more I see love reflected in those around me.
The workshop was lovely as where the other participants. I did this workshop because, even though I could have worked through all the material at home, I never would have gotten as much practice and I probably would have just sat in my room and kept it to myself. It wasn’t an official Quantum Touch workshop. This was Touched by Quantum. It was mostly Quantum Touch and the facilitator had given the official workshop before, but she chose not to any more because of a philosophical difference she has with the company.
I enjoyed the workshop, got a lot out of it and enjoyed being around the tribe again. I certainly felt like I got more out of this than I did with the Access the Bars class. So, when we where done, and we said our good byes, and I was alone and waiting for my dad to pick me up, I get an sms asking if I can’t walk to Canal Walk and meet them there?
Shit! Fuck! Balls! Are you fucking serious! Had that sms come through 5 minutes earlier I would have had a lift. Now I really don’t mind walking but it was hotter than a motherfucker on Sunday and it was fuck far. (From the Estuaries to Canal Walk if anyone is familiar to the area). Whatever, release, centre yourself, be grateful you just started smoking again not 4 hours ago and have something to do with your hands for the walk. As I leave the office complex, I start walking in the opposite direction to Canal Walk. I wasn’t immediately sure, but certainty grew. I kept walking though and approached a guard on one of the islands and asked him for directions. He pointed me towards the shuttle that was just arriving.
Thank you baby Jesus! I didn’t have to walk in the scorching heat! And thank you to everyone that happened to work on my third eye chakra during the workshop I took the shuttle (R3 being an effing bargain) and realised just how far it was. I knew before I started walking that it was far, but fuck me did I ever underestimate the distance.
As I walked into the air conditioned coolness of the mall, there was this hottie that was exactly my type walking in at the same time as I. I didn’t do anything about it, just appreciated the view and thought, “Yeah, God knows what I like”. Releasing until I have a love/sex life is third on the agenda after finding a place to stay. Anyway, I head to Pic ‘n Pay to get some Airwaves gum and something to drink. I found myself easily conversing with the young lady behind the till. Next I went to Exclusives Books not knowing when my dad will show up and it’s as good a place as any to kill time. They had a copy of The Hunger Games, so I bought that and easily started talking with the gothy redheaded bookseller handling the transaction. She mentioned she had been watching Invader Zim, so I sang the Doom song for her. She squee’d. She told me she had been dropping Invader Zim references all week waiting for someone to catch on.
What is significant about these two encounters is simply that they happened. I have been in a fairly dark place for a while now, years really, not fully being able to be myself much less strike up a conversation with strangers. I feel like I’m finally getting to a point where I’m no longer hiding from my life and my purpose. That I’m finally allowing myself to be who I truly be. I’m not there yet, but it’s a light at the end of the tunnel. And I’m chalking those two experiences up to releasing and the all day workshop.